Where is my backbone?!

I  have a rubber spine. I swear! Learning how to inject some steel hasn’t gone as easily as I thought it would. What happened as I got set up to sit and NaNo away?

Here was how it played out:

Knock, knock, knock. I just put my headphones on and loaded my playlist, so I glanced at the door thinking I must have been hearing things (or hopefully a ghost). I waited. Please, please tell me that wasn’t the door.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

“Come in.” Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. “Come in!”

“Hello.” In walks Friend. Friend is a 40+ male who has taken a hard hit to life and needed a safe place to plop his camper until he can find some work and get some money for a place to live. Friend’s wife says she doesn’t want him anymore… and well… that’s just another story! It’s gotta be the weirdest break-up relationship I’ve ever seen! Friend is my dear hubby’s best friend so we couldn’t completely turn the guy away when we found out what was going on. His camper is now at the back of our drive, connected to our electric and it’s not as bad as having a friend living out of the basement (which we’ve done before also).

“Hey Friend,” I wave and turn back to the glow of my monitor hoping that friend will take the hint and do whatever it is he needs to do and head back to his camper.

“Where’s the old man?” As he enters the computer area and a wood chair. He makes himself at home, right behind my right shoulder.

I cannot write if someone can read what I’m writing. Simple as that. If I even suspect that someone can read what I’m writing it will freeze my writing brain to a dead stop. I glance at Friend.

“He didn’t get to sleep until five this morning.” I tell Friend with hopes that will send him on his way.

“Pain?” Friend asks.

“Yep. All that walking for trick-or-treating set his leg on fire. He was on fire all night, so he’s sleeping right now.” My husband has suffered from this weird leg pain in his right leg for almost a couple of years. We’ve been seeing doctors. So far there are no answers. His leg not only burns with pain, but it twitches randomly (and sometimes violently). Spasms. The leg has been weakening, he’s fallen a couple of times due to it just giving out from under him, and his not even forty years old yet. My hubby is a typical male and tries to pretend like there’s nothing wrong, most of the time. Last night was horrible for him.

“Do you expect him alive anytime soon?” I glance at my screen then back to Friend. Inside I shudder a bit. This isn’t going to end well for me.

“Nope. I’m just letting him sleep.”

Somehow this turned into an open visitation for Friend to claim me as his personal chat soundboard. The next hour and a half was spent talking (mostly listening) to Friend.

Why didn’t I say something like, “Friend, I am doing something right now that is important to me and while I’d love to visit with you, we need to do this later. Okay?” I didn’t say something like that because I have no backbone! The only time that I do is when someone threatens (real or perceived) my child. If I feel you’ve just threatened my child, I will become instant witch. Watch out.

I’m trying. Really I am. I will learn how to turn around situations like this so that they work well for me. Ugh.

Kidlets head to bed at 8pm. I usually do too. I don’t fall asleep until 10pm-midnight, but bedtime is around the time the kids go to bed. Gotta read sometime, right? I think tonight though I’m going to commit myself to my 1667 NaNo words (wait! I’ve got like 370 written after Friend left!) and stay up instead of relaxing in bed tonight.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s